B, BA, BOM Day Twelve

Sometimes it is the tiniest of moments that make me very grateful. Today, I had such a moment.

For years, I have been struggling with my fear of falling. I don't have a fear of heights, like my other siblings, I am afraid of falling. I can stand on the edge of any roof, ladder, ridge and peer down without skipping a beat or increasing the rate at which the "old ticker" is chugging. Yet, when it is time to come down off said perch, forget about it. I can't get down. I freeze. Not quite panic attacks, but close. Leave me up there and I will dance all day, ask me to get down and I am toast.

Luke, who is 18 hands (that is, his whithers are about 6 feet off the ground), and I have been working on my getting off of him without my freaking out. He knows I am nuts. As I try and dismount, sometimes I just lay (I hope that is the correct version of being prone) on my stomach and hang there and hope the ground will rise to meet my feet which rarely happens, by the way. Sometimes, I just jump. But with the recent back issues, jumping off and landing hard, really aren't good.

I have been working with Luke so he will stand by the mounting block so that the "ground" will be at my feet. The first couple of times, he wasn't too sure about what I wanted to do and yesterday, he stood very quietly TWICE, while I dismounted onto the mounting block.

A tiny moment, but getting down from on high, never felt so good.